Shaine Smith on...
Getting even: "May the fleas of a thousand camels infest the crotch
of the person who screws up your day and may their arms be too short to
scratch." I assume this is stolen from someone else, but who really knows.
Entertainment Interruptions: "No one I know would call during the
Wildlife: "I have a strict, no-swerve policy for anything under 50
Local Cuisine: "If I have to eat one more mediocre tiramisu in this
town, I'll stab someone."
Mentally Handicapped: "Just because you're retarded, doesn't mean you
can be in my way".
Weekends: "the longer we go without plans, the angrier I get."
Epic Proportions: "We can do that in a day."
Motivation: "c'mon, bitches."
Recreational Fishing: "I'd start yelling at the fish for not biting
and throwing my rod like a golf club. A river of hate runs through me."
Desirable Feminine Attributes: "You know what I like in a woman? Me."
And his most recent addition...Correspondence: "I don't think you
people realize what a soul-crushing, miserable experience my job is.
You people are not playing with me at all, fuckers. I need email love,
On adding someone new to the group: "Do we beat her in or sex her in?"
On wildlife sightings: "Did you see that kangaroo?"
On eating Power Gels: "It's like sucking dick, you don't like it, but sometimes you gotta do it."
On life's biggest problems: "No big deal"
On Shaine: "Unacceptable"
On eating habits: "I'm an anal eater" movie
On riding: "I like ups and downs, flat is boring!"
On expensive presents: "If you let me fist your cakehole with 10 ton apoxy as lubricant I might think about it. Not because the idea of sticking my hand up your butt is at all appealing. More that that is equal to the amount of pain one should suffer to actually receive that as a gift"
On kirk's new bike: "I'm sure it can be beaten into something that you'll love like a furry panda"
On Kirk's job: "u suck monkey balls. I have no pity for your working situation other than you may lose all your social skills over time and become a hermit Mt Biker that is only able to grunt and growl at those you like and dislike. Perhaps pointing will assist your communicative grunts but besides all that I have no pity."
On merits of DIY battery's and Shaine's mockery of such:
"my, aren't you the corporate world's bitch...they must love you.
Why don't you bend over again, so niterider can jam a new battery up
your ass with a handful of sand for the low low price of 60 bucks. Oh
wait, you already have a new factory issued niterider battery because
the DIY'er gave(lent) it to you. You set 'em up fucker, I knock 'em
down. Thanks for playing."